Dearest Friend,

I do hope this finds you well.

It has been a shamefully long time since I have taken pen to hoof and informed you of the most recent events in the neighborhood. Do please forgive my lapse.

I must begin by relaying that the neighborhood seems to have changed dramatically since last I wrote. On one strange day last February, several of my companions and I were led into a long rectangular box. We were placed carefully into a precise and snug arrangement then the doors were closed. After a great deal of bouncing, shaking, and a most prodigious amount of noise, the doors were reopened.

We found all the paddocks, buildings, shelters, pigs, and cows had been removed. The buildings, pastures, and animals that stood in their places were lovely, but unfamiliar.

I have no wish to re-enter such a box again. Should you encounter one in your future dealings, I strongly advise you to consider carefully the risks of insinuating oneself within.

In any case, we have all made ourselves comfortable in the new arrangements.

My dear friend Mr. Knightley and I have settled in as near neighbors in adjoining apartments. We sometimes are joined by a pair of older gentlemen donkeys in the early evenings for a cordial sharing of hay and water.

We can see Mr. Bingley not far off in his own estate, which is just to the north, somewhat nearer to the location where the ladies choose to linger over their gossip and grass.

All of us gentlemen look forward to the time in the Fall when we will be hosting some of the ladies at some special entertainments in our private establishments.

We have had some visitors already, and I must confess that not all have been equally pleasant. You might bring to your remembrance an earlier letter wherein I described Mr. Knightley’s shearing? It seems the change in local scenery did not keep the shearers from finding us again. We are, all of us, in a shocking state. I beg you, if you had been planning a visit in the near future, to give us some weeks to improve our appearance.

We are most undignified at present.

There are two more very important pieces of news I must report to you, dear friend, before I close this epistle.

The first is that, despite the dramatic change in surroundings, we are still quite surrounded by The Regiment. In truth, I believe there are multiple companies inhabiting the local surrounds.

One company, comprised mostly of older veterans, is billeted near my own abode. They seem to be quite vocal, particularly in the mornings, when one and then another will begin singing a rowdy song at the top of its lungs, often joined by its fellows in a cacophonous chorus. It is commanded by a diminutive officer who insists on crowing orders before the break of day.

A second company has its barracks near our Mr. Bingley, and they seem to be younger recruits. They are often in the yard, drilling and making noise. Their discipline leaves something to be desired.

And then there is a tiny little company that is housed in an odd, small structure. Mr. Knightley and I have discussed this subject at length, and we believe one or more of them may be afraid of the dark, as they leave the light on all night. Perhaps the crowing officer is the source of their fear.

In any case, dear reader, I can assure you that the farm is well defended, if numbers and noise are sufficient for a defense.

Finally, I must tell you the ovine population of our little band has been steadily increasing. Since the Box Incident, we have added four young lads to the neighborhood, two just this week.

And so, without further ado, I give myself the honor of introducing to you our latest new gentlemen, Lucas (Maryanne’s lamb) and Frederick (Louisa’s lamb). Mr. Bingley is beside himself with joy to have two little images of himself adorning the paddock.

Lucas (and Martin) on The Rocks (the lambs’ favorite playground):

And Frederick, one hour old:

Most sincerely yours,

Mr. Darcy the Sheep

P.S. To watch more Pemberley Farm videos, you can follow MrDarcyTheSheep on YouTube.

The post A Long Overdue Letter appeared first on Kiersten J.

My most sincere wishes that this finds you and your loved ones safe and well.

I think it is now safe to say that we are through the holiday season. I use the word “safe” intentionally, friend, because there have been developments around Pemberley Farm in the last couple of months that have been enough to rattle even the most stalwart of fellows.

First, I must relay that Slider and Flora are no longer in the neighborhood, though their destinations varied quite significantly. Slider went the way of the once-missing friend Spud, and now resides in someplace referred to most often as “freezer camp.” Flora has joined another neighborhood and according to all reports is thriving in her new environs.

I should also note that several of the regiment seem to have gone AWOL recently. I do not mind their absence as much, however. They tend to prey upon our nerves and are ever greedy for my corn treats.

I can, however report the addition of a new face to the Farm. This is Wellington, a young mini bull who has come to live here and befriend some of the young ladies of the neighborhood. He is a handsome fellow who has the attractive quality of being rather small of stature, and therefore easier for Farmer Jay and Ma Berry to manage.

We are similarly sized, in fact, and have enjoyed becoming acquainted during his visits to Pemberley. He is a bit shy for a male bovine, primarily due to his size, I think. The ladies of his species are of much grander proportions than he. It will take some courage, I believe, for him to move about in their society.

I am also pleased to report that Kiersten J’s Beast to Blanket class has officially begun. I am sure she will be sharing the details of her first session with you herself, but I wish to share this photo she passed on to me:

Kiersten J said the students enjoyed dyeing the yarn together, and that they thought the mascot she brought along was quite adorable. I can’t quite make out the resemblance, but perhaps you can?

Next week she will bring in some of my wool and that of my neighbors so the students can see and feel raw fleece. I believe they’ll be constructing drop spindles to spin some cleaned and carded wool after a demonstration with a spinning wheel, as well. I’m eager to hear all about it!

Finally, friend, I need to show you my other new neighbor, and ask for your assistance in identification. It’s very quiet and has no conversation whatsoever. At times, it completely flattens itself against the ground, as if hiding. At other times, it seems to blow away with the wind.

I wish to be an amiable neighbor to this creature, and yet I find myself positively skittish in its presence. My fellow neighbors have nothing helpful to say.

Have you any advice for me?

Most sincerely yours,

Mr. Darcy the Sheep

The post Holiday Turnover Report appeared first on Kiersten J.

I hope you and your loved ones are doing well.

Today finds me full of the most interesting of news! As you may remember from my last letter, we were recently invaded by an innumerable horde of noisy rapscallions. I must report that they are still about in the local environs and make no sign of departing any time soon. Some of them have decided to take up special residence in the very halls of Pemberley, and I am sorry to speak ill of any of my fellow creatures, but they are the boldest of corn thieves it has ever been my misfortune to observe. I despair of them.

You can see their behavior in the video below, where you shall also meet my new companion, Caroline.

I will tell you more about Caroline in just a moment, but please observe the shocking larceny of the invaders (the corn they’re plundering is intended for Caroline and myself), as well as Slider the bull calf’s odd behaviour.

Caroline is fascinated by what Farmer Jay referred to as Tallowdega (the family enjoys watching cars drive very rapidly in circles, I believe, which has some relationship to that term), while I remained most concerned by the regiment’s shocking lack of table etiquette.

We believe Slider may be somewhat disturbed by the recent arrival of his baby brother, and his subsequent perception of no longer being the sole recipient of his mother’s attention and affection.

May I make known to you our new neighbor, Meatball? He’s a healthy lad who arrived quietly about 30 minutes before Ma Berry and Farmer Jay arrived home with their newest calf, Donut:

Just a few short days later, another young lad joined the neighborhood bearing the name Brisket:

Apparently, Brisket is meant to be a companion for Miss Moose, and there may be more little ones sometime in the future, though Farmer Jay says that will not be for some time.

A few days later, Miss Posey dropped her calf as well (that IS the proper term, I have learned, though it sounds somewhat careless), and I am happy at last to report the addition of a new young lady to the neighborhood. Here is Miss Flora:

Thus ends the tally of the smaller additions to our local populace.

In addition, another young lady has been added to the wee flock.

Mr. Knightley has been feeling a bit cantankerous and territorial over the past few weeks, especially when others come near Emma and Lizzy. He is quite protective.

Farmer Jay and Ma Berry thought it might be best for all concerned for Mr. Knightley and me to have a little distance from one another for a time. I do believe this may also have something to do with potentially forthcoming small creatures, but this is beyond my comprehension at the moment.

The Good Book tells us it is not good for a man to be alone, and this is also the case with sheep. Rather than break up the merino trio, everyone thought it best that I be provided with another companion. I was introduced to Caroline shortly thereafter and we are becoming acquainted.

Caroline is mostly a Suffolk breed, with pretty caramel-colored wool. Before coming to the neighborhood, she had never become accustomed to having and using a halter. She has the breeding to grow to be one of the largest sheep on the property, so Farmer Jay wants to be sure she can accept the halter before deciding if her stay is temporary or permanent. At times we graze near a driveway and need to be on a lead so we’re safe from cars that may come by. Caroline must decide whether or not she is willing to accept that particular accoutrement and practice or if it will cause her too much distress. I hope I can help her adjust.

Speaking of fashion accessories…

What do you think of my hat? Here’s a better picture of the image:

Caroline said I look smashing. Is that a compliment?

Most sincerely yours,

Mr. Darcy the Sheep

The post A Population Explosion appeared first on Kiersten J.

Changes are afoot, dear readers. There is a sense of excitement all around Pemberley Farm as well as one of anticipation. As far as I can tell, it all has to do with personages recently arrived as well as those who are soon to come.

I shall start with the latter, for that is more pleasant news indeed. Our nearest neighbors are in expectation of happy events at any moment.

Fuzzy headed Young Master Slider is always eager to be at the front of the group. Here you can see him with his mother Miss Whopper (who is soon to give him a brother or sister) to the far right, Miss Meow in the center, and Miss Posey (who is soon to be a mother for the first time) all the way to the left.

You may recall from my earlier letter that my companions and I had the honor of clearing the calf pen for Miss Posey’s calf. Her calf will need some special watching over the first few days, as she is a milk cow. Apparently beef calves like Miss Whopper’s are much more independent soon after birth and can often be found standing up on their own after only a few hours in the world.

Farmer Jay speaks to Ma Berry about a third calf coming at any time, but Miss Meow is not, as they say, in an interesting condition. I have, however, noted that Ma Berry has stopped lifting so many heavy things. Perhaps all will be clear in due time.

Our own dear Lizzy collided with something at some point (her recollections are unclear) and sustained a minor injury to her eye. Thankfully, Ma Berry and Farmer Jay consulted our local physician and have been treating her with good effect. We don’t believe she will suffer any lasting harm or serious delay in her program of improving her mind with extensive reading.

Thus far the happy news.

Now I’m afraid I must tell you about what I can only call The Invasion.

The regiment has come to Pemberley.

I think that is what they must be. They come and go at strange times, according to the whims of some higher authority. Some of them show up injured or go AWOL. Some die after fierce action against a neighboring populace, and a batch of new ones shows up to replace them. Some of them even appear to be wearing red.

I cannot think their arrival is a good thing. They are loud, messy, have no sense of decorum whatsoever, and I think there must be a thousand of them. They have been known to walk right into the halls of Pemberley and make themselves welcome without so much as a by-your-leave.

Honestly, friends, they startle me right out of my wool, and I cannot tell you why. I do not mind them at a safe distance, but they have a way of creeping up on one through the grass and pouncing when one is peacefully grazing that is most disconcerting.

I suspect they are also pilfering the special corn Ma Berry and Farmer Jay have been giving me for minerals and to keep growing. It is really quite shockingly rude!

Ah, well. I do not suppose the regiment can stay indefinitely.

I shall close for now, as it is nearly time to retire. All my best wishes for your continued health and happiness.

Most sincerely yours,

Mr. Darcy the Sheep

The post The Local Invasions appeared first on Kiersten J.

I’m afraid I write with news of a most serious nature. You may recall in my previous missive that I reported rumors of our neighbor Spud’s return, but had not yet seen him? Well. I have now seen him. So to speak.

They do say that one does not return from a journey the same person as one was when he embarked, but I do not think this is what was meant.

I am sorry to have to report that Spud is no longer among us. At least, not as we have previously known him. This news caused me no little distress and so I decided to speak with Mr. Knightly about it. He is, after all, six months my senior and has seen more of the world than I. I was especially curious why Farmer Jay, who treats us all with such courtesy, would appear to be so joyful at the sight pictured above.

Mr. Knightley, as you may know, is quite a well-read fellow, and he is very intelligent. I often have difficulties understanding his complex thoughts. He answered me by first muttering aloud, “I wonder what Mr. Kierkegaard would have to say about Spud’s options for self-creation?” and “He’d have been better served striving to be a Stoic. He didn’t have Ubermench in him.” Finally, Mr. Knightley turned to me and said, “Young Darcy, what you must understand is that Spud fulfilled his purpose.”

“Fulfilled his purpose?” Well, that just begs the question, does it not? What’s MY purpose?

I must confess, dear Reader, to burying my head in the hay bucket for a time. My only defense of my temporary crisis is that, as Farmer Jay and Ma Berry say, I’m just a baby. However, I was promptly reminded by these fine personages of one of my purposes here at the farm.

The grass is high and there are great quantities of it. Posey the cow is expecting a calf in the near future, and so one of the pastures especially needs to be cut down. We are just the sheep to handle this chore. We’ve had some practice mowing the front yard already.

Farmer Jay and Ma Berry tethered us in the area we were to mow and let us do our work. They can tell where we’ve been by the absence of the white clover flowers. They’re my favorite.

Of course, we also tend the wee park in front of Pemberley.

We do get startled from time to time, but considering what I’ve learned about the world in the last several days, I think that’s perfectly rational, don’t you?

Kiersten J has reminded me that my primary purpose is to help her with her work, which includes the Beast to Blanket class she is preparing to teach again to children this Spring and to offer soon on her website for all ages. She just published a tiny portion of it, which is now available free to anyone, about dyeing wool with Kool Aid. She says she will be dyeing some of my own wool for this! This caused me great consternation until she assured me she would wait until I wasn’t using it anymore. I have no desire to change colors at this time.

After such an intellectually and emotionally exhausting episode, the wee flock decided on an evening’s entertainment and invite you to join us as we observe the existential trials of other famed personages.

Most sincerely yours,

Mr. Darcy the Sheep

The post My First Existential Crisis appeared first on Kiersten J.

I thought today might be a good opportunity to share with you a little about the circumstances surrounding my arrival here at Pemberley, as everyone still seems to be in a state of wonder about it all.

The first thing you should know is that my breed, the Valais Blacknose, is native to Southern Switzerland and has only recently been making its way to other parts of the world through the determined efforts of breeders. Here in the former Colonies, there is a well-developed breed-up program, with many committed breeders and ranchers participating.

Why would people put so much effort into bringing my species all over the world?

Those might help you understand. I’ve also been told we’re called “The cutest sheep in the world.” With all honesty, I must tell you that Lizzy, Emma, and Mr. Knightley are all fine-looking sheep as well. I cannot myself make such wild claims.

In my particular case, I was born on a lovely farm called Crescent Arrow Farm and taken care of by Cassie Reedich there. I had a different name while I was there. It sounded very dashing and Italian. When I was big enough to go to Pemberley, Cassie made sure I was as presentable as a gentleman should be.

Farmer Jay came to get me and he put me in his pickup truck. I got to ride in the front seat and felt the wind blow through my still-damp wool on the drive home. He said the truck smelled like wet wool for days. How pleasant for him!

I was very happy to meet and be accompanied by two other distinguished personages on my journey to my new home: Pancake and her little stuffed sheep Ewenice. Pancake apparently didn’t want me to be afraid or lonely, and so she helped her friend Ewenice talk to me over the front seat on the drive to Pemberley. Each time I opened a subject for conversation, Ewenice politely replied, making sure I was in good spirits.

As you know, I made the journey safely and have been adjusting well. I am very fond of my fellow flockmates and happy to have found a home here.

As far as the news from around the neighborhood, I should tell you that we sheep seem to have put Scape the goat out of the mowing business, and she has decided to retire to another location in the company of some of her fellows. I think this a good move for her, as she seemed always wanting to be elsewhere.

I hear that Spud the pig has returned, but I have not seen or heard him. I really think I should have, as he is quite a large fellow and snores phenomenally. I shall keep you informed, as I know you are interested.

Most sincerely yours,

Mr. Darcy the Sheep

The post The Occasion of My Homecoming appeared first on Kiersten J.

I hope this finds you in good health and staying cool in this heat. We have the great fortune to have a box fan at Pemberley that blows quite conveniently upon us during the worst heat of the day. It keeps us from becoming overheated and short-tempered, and we bless Farmer Jay for it constantly.

You may be generous enough to remember my dear friend Mr. Knightley.

As you may recall, he is a Merino sheep, and acts as the leader of our wee flock. He came to the farm in need of a trim, but the people who sent him on his journey wished us all to admire his exceptional wool before it was removed. It is quite admirable, and though I do not understand the entire process yet, Kiersten J made multiple approving and excited comments about what a pleasure it will be to spin.

I hope I get to learn more about that.

In any case, with the heat, it was necessary for Mr. Knightley to have his first shearing, and so a pleasant Amish gentleman offered to demonstrate the process to Farmer Jay. I’m afraid it’s quite undignified.

I’m concerned that I may also be expected to submit to such indignities, but I have yet to work up the courage to ask.

Kiersten J says the fibers are a dream to manipulate and seemed to be mesmerized by pulling, tugging, and twisting them into a very thin thread. I admire the different shades of blonde and cream in his wool, and think them quite handsome. I also like the squiggles, which Kiersten J called “crimping.” It’s very different from my wool with its loopy curls.

In any case, we have all become accustomed to Mr. Knightley’s new appearance. He seemed a bit disconcerted immediately after his shearing, as if he were a little embarrassed. We did our best to reassure him that he’s still quite handsome enough to tempt any ewe, and reminded him that he is certain to be more comfortable in the recent temperatures.

I understand that the Merinos are typically sheared in the Spring and Fall, and that Farmer Jay may be constructing a table for shearing to keep the wool from falling onto the ground into the straw. I’ll be sure to inform you if I find out that I’m to participate in this most interesting and highly personal activity.

As a final note, you may remember that I mentioned our neighbor the pig? His name is Spud, and we have not seen him since I last wrote. We are beginning to be concerned that something dire may have happened to him. I enclose a photograph in the event you see him and can report his whereabouts.

Most sincerely yours,

Mr. Darcy the Sheep

The post Mr. Knightley’s First Haircut appeared first on Kiersten J.

I have been getting accustomed to the frequency of visitors here at the farm. They come often and seem to admire our wee flock. Today, however, I met someone I’ve only seen on Farmer Jay’s little pocket box: Kiersten J!

Kiersten J and Greg came to meet the flock today and we all gathered at Pemberley to get acquainted.

Mr. Knightley did his job well as head of the flock and was the first to greet our guests. He positioned himself between the visitors and the rest of us and gave Kiersten J a thorough inspection (including taste testing boots, shirt, and hair) before permitting access to the remaining members of the party. One might say that Mr. Knightley continued to put himself forward throughout the visit to demand his share of the conversation, but I believe he was simply attempting to be a good host.

Farmer Jay built Pemberley for us so we have shade from the hot sun and shelter from the wind and rain, and he and Ma Berry bring hay and fresh water to Pemberley so we don’t have to wander far to eat and drink while we’re getting used to our new home. We have a lovely little park in front of Pemberley (I think most people here call it a yard) for fresh grass, too. Kiersten J and Greg got to tour the grounds and see the very comfortable home where we now reside.

Before I close for today, I should introduce you to one of our closest neighbors. Meow the cow gave her own welcome to Pemberley during our visit and consented to a photograph. As you can see, she’s a handsome Jersey and a charming neighbor. We’re quite fortunate in most of our near neighbors, with the possible exception of the snoring pig, who departed earlier this week on a mysterious journey. No one is speaking much about it, so it may be best left as a private matter.

Most sincerely yours,

Mr. Darcy the Sheep

The post Welcome to Pemberley! appeared first on Kiersten J.

My name is Mr. Darcy, and I’m new.

I just moved to a new flock, at a new farm, and I thought I’d say hello. I know it’s a little unusual and a little bold to introduce myself and my friends without any prior acquaintance or introduction, but the people here said it would be okay.

I’m a Valais Blacknose Sheep. If you’re interested in my breed, you can learn more about me here. I came from Crescent Arrow Farm (my friend Cassie Reedich took my baby picture). They tell me I’m an F3 ram, but they also tell me I don’t have to understand the breeding details. My big job is to eat hay and get large and strong and grow my curly wool and be cute.

Kiersten is going to use my wool and the wool of my friends Mr. Knightley, Emma, and Lizzy (they’re Merinos) to help other people learn about wool and dyeing and knitting and stuff. My wool will be long and curly and rough and strong. It’s supposed to be good for felting and rugs and bags and things like that. My friends’ wool is much softer and will be good for things that go next to people’s skin.

Mr. Knightley had his first haircut the other day and everyone was so excited about it. I don’t think he was, though. At least he didn’t have to go all the way to London for it.

Well, I don’t want to overstay my welcome, but I hope to see you again soon. There seems to be a lot of activity around here and they sure take a lot of pictures.

Most sincerely yours,

Mr. Darcy the Sheep

The post Might I make your acquaintance? appeared first on Kiersten J.